I Hugged My Doctor (or 7 years cancer free)

Monday's doctor's appointment with my gynecologist marked the 7th year I have been 'cancer free'. Dr. Karen Cole is my life-saver. She ordered a biopsy on a lump that two other gynecologists and three radiology labs in California would routinely pass off as fibrocystic breast disease. They would look at my mammogram film and order a follow up ultra-sound, but no one even mentioned biopsy. This went on for years until I moved to Mississippi in late 2006, and got a referral to Dr. Cole in 2007. After my exam she immediately had her staff notify the women's hospital across the street from her office to schedule a needle biopsy for that day. I had the results within a few more days and on September 13, 2007 I was in surgery for a modified radical mastectomy for Stage III, estrogen positive, breast cancer. I have celebrated each year since in my doctor's exam room and I hug her long and hard knowing that if it hadn't been for her willingness to order a biopsy I might have lost more than my breast. Ladies, insist on a biopsy for anything suspicious on your skin or inside your body. It could save you a body part or possibly your life.

NOT Feeling Like I Made The Right Decision.

My husband and I decided to move to Mississippi in 2006 and we were excited at the prospect of living in the 'beautiful southeast' again where the temps are warm, people are friendly, and life is lived at a slower pace. MS has an affordable cost of living, and then Gov. Haley Barbour was successful in attracting big businesses like Nissan to commit to large capital investment in the state's economy. Even my being a 'senior citizen' was not a significant roadblock to getting a job here. Back then I truly thought that MS, and its capital city, Jackson, were on the cusp of becoming swans after their ugly duckling stage, similar to the boom that happened in Atlanta, GA back in the '80s and '90s. I was wrong. The state has become more conservative and stagnant, and makes poor political, social, and fiscal decisions. The economic disaster of 2008 didn't help but MS still has not 'dug' itself out of the recession while the rest of the country is prospering. Our Tea Party backed governor, Phil Bryant, tells us we are making progress (it's 2014 for goodness sake) but the stats are against him. It doesn't help that we are also #1 in self-identified conservatives so voters don't object to his regressive ideological policies that have not advanced any significant new business or jobs. He is still relying on 'cheap labor' to be the draw without funding or investing in an educated workforce which businesses today demand. Below are stats that have put MS into the 'poor relation' status among all 50 states and the state's voters will probably keep us there indefinitely now that restrictive voter ID laws have disenfranchised many dissenting voices. There is so much potential for MS to break out of this cycle. But first, we have to admit we have a problem and that won't happen in the current political climate. I'm not feeling enthusiastic about Mississippi's future as I once did.

Partial List of Mississippi's (negative) Superlatives

#51 in student achievement (behind DC)
#50 in primary healthcare service
#50 in '2014 State New Economy Index' rankings
#50 in internet usage
#50 in best state to live in US
#50 in percent of population with high-school diploma
#50 in median family income
#49 in personal income per capita
#49 in health index rankings
#31 in land size and population
#6 in highest crime rates (tied with Washington DC)
#3 in teen birth rates
#2 in highest unemployment rates
#1 in child death rate
#1 most religious state
#1 in obesity rates
#1 in people living below the poverty level
#1 in self-identified conservatives
And now Mississippi is...
#1 in the US of the most corrupt states in the union. "It is the poorest state in the U.S. whose corruption most approaches levels in a Third World country."

(Another sad waste of MS resources is the fact that women are practically non-existent in the governance of MS. We're one of only four states who has never elected a woman to the U S Senate or U S Congress. We've also never had a female governor. We've only had two women serve in statewide office. We're ranked 47th in the country in percentage of female legislators. In addition, Mississippi ranks as having the 2nd highest ratio of spending to tax receipts of any state with little to show for it.)

STAY OUT OF THE SUN!

Last year my husband's dermatologist found a patch of non-invasive melanoma on his left temple probably caused by sun-damage throughout his years of sun-worshiping after he moved to the south from NYC. I'm sure he was loving the warmth of the southern sun after living in the cold north most of his life. (I was born in the south and stayed out of the sun as a child and as an adult and I still had to have a basal-cell cancer removed from my nose which probably was caused by some sun damage. So far, I have been lucky that that is all of the skin cancer I have had.) Because there is no real 'road map' for the surgeon to follow to know where all the melanoma cells are, Martin has had four surgeries to carve out the 'menace' and each time the lab found more cells at the edge of the tissue sample. The last surgery left a divot about 3" X 3" in a circular pattern from the corner of his eye to just inside his hairline above his ear. Of course the 'graft tissue' was taken from the same place as the previous graft tissue was taken last year, (on his upper thigh), so instead of one wound we had two wounds to take care of each day for two weeks. This last surgery uncovered more melanoma closer to his eye and cheek and it was now 'invasive'. Martin has had a PET scan, and an MRI to make sure no cells have migrated into the rest of his body. Thankfully both scans were clear. So now we are going to have to go out of town to Mobile, AL (185 miles from our home) to see a specialist for a MOHS procedure to corral the rest of the melanoma lesion. As I understand, from doing lots of research on the internet, melanoma can only be cured by surgery. So the specialist will have to keep 'carving' on Martin's face until he gets it all. Then the reconstruction will begin when these wounds have healed. Fortunately, Martin has a very good cosmetic surgeon here at home for that. Just getting to this point has been an emotionally draining adventure. Dealing with the stress of the diagnosis, the surgeries, the tests, and now having to do all the logistics for a trip to Mobile is physically tiring. This sad saga began for us in July, 2013 so we have been coping with this for about 8 months. In preparation for the trip to Mobile I will have to get a schedule from the doctor for the MOHS procedure, make hotel reservations, (our wonderful neighbors are going to look after our dog), pack a bag with enough clothes and meds in case we might be there longer than expected, program the Garmin, make sure the car is in good working order, and keep our fingers crossed that this trip will be the last time Martin will have to deal with a melanoma diagnosis. All this would be stressful enough for anyone but it is especially hard for an 83 year old man who takes pride in his good health. He hasn't been sleeping well and occasionally gets depressed which is not normal for Martin. Sometimes I don't sleep well either. Growing old isn't for sissies and people will always have age-related illnesses. But there is a lesson to be learned and possible preventive measures to be taken from all of this for Martin's children, my son, our grandchildren. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Even sunscreen isn't a fail-safe way to stop sun-damage. Our skin is the largest organ we have and it is the most vulnerable. The best way to avoid dealing with skin cancer is to STAY OUT OF THE SUN!

On the virtues of Sunscreen-August 1997 By Mary Schmich

In August 1997, e-mail enthusiasts burned up cyberspace sending each other the text of a commencement address said to have been delivered by Kurt Vonnegut, author of "Slaughterhouse Five" and other works. It was surely the most popular speech Kurt Vonnegut never wrote or delivered. As it happens, the sunscreen speech was actually a column written by Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich. Here is "the speech".

Wear Sunscreen

By Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '98: Wear sunscreen. 

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. 

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. 

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday. 

Do one thing every day that scares you. 

Sing. 

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. 

Floss. 

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. 

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. 

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. 

Stretch. 

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. 

Get plenty of calcium. 

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. 

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. 

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. 

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. 

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. 

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. 

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. 

Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. 

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. 

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. 

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. 

Travel. 

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. 

Respect your elders. 

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. 

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. 

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. 

But trust me on the sunscreen.